Six of the eight Colorado Boylls are moving to Montana. Big changes await them: new jobs, house, school, and daycare for the toddler. It only took five weeks to put their decision into action. They’re flying away, and I keep telling myself changes can be good. Still, changes hurt!
The “For Sale” sign swings on an empty prairie house. And, Grandpa and Grandma recognize eight years of sleepovers and all kinds of shenanigans have ended. The family’s flurry doesn’t resonate with my deflation. As I scroll hundreds of smiling photos I’ve been asking, “Is my cup half full or half empty?”
Overflowing Cup
Kanye West corrects me, “You can’t look at a glass half empty or half full if it’s overflowing.” I’m all about running-over blessings. I cannot number the times the six heading for Montana have filled my cup! Now with 994 miles between us, we will have to pour into each other’s lives more creatively.
Skye Jethani’s book With has been helpful. He writes about this mortal life being filled with dangers and losses for ourselves and for those we love. This reality triggers fear in us. And that fear has us scrambling for control. (For example, I’ve already looked into airplane tickets to Missoula and how much summer rentals cost.)
The cold, hard truth is we have little control. Jethani writes, “Control is an illusion. No amount of control will ever be enough to ensure our safety, and no amount of control will ever remove our fears. In addition, whatever comfort we do gain through control is little more than a placebo effect. We are fooling ourselves into believing we are safe when in fact we are not.”
Trust the Catcher
Jethani writes the alternative to this awful cycle is something Dutch priest Henri Nouwen discovered when he was transfixed by a trapeze troupe. Nouwen observed that the person soaring through the air is really not the star of the trapeze performance. Rather, it is the catcher. This realization led Nouwen to a new way of understanding his life with God. “I can only fly freely when I know there is a catcher to catch me….If we are to take risks, to be free, in the air, in life, we have to know there’s a catcher. We have to know that when we come down from it all, we’re going to be caught, we’re going to be safe. The great hero is the least visible. Trust the catcher.”
Sometimes I do not understood God’s will, but I have find Him far more trustworthy then anyone or anything. He answers my prayers, teaches me how to love others and myself, gives me a peaceful presence that I cannot fabricate and much more. I am learning to do life “with” him.
In the face of the uncontrollable, fearful future, I desire for all my loved ones to fly freely with God, knowing the competent catcher is there for whatever comes or goes in life. He never leaves us, even to the ends of the world.
